Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions with these Tips

Many people start each New Year with resolutions such as: I want to lose weight; I want to make more money; or I want to be more organized. By the middle of February, however, most of these resolutions have slipped by the wayside. This damages our self-esteem and our motivation at accomplishing much of anything. It keeps us stuck.

Why do we fail in keeping our resolutions?

Many people set goals and then focus on the downside of not achieving those goals. Wherever your focus is, is where you’re headed. Thus by focusing on failure, you fail.

Others set goals and hope to “attract” those goals into their lives. Positive focus is great, but inadequate. I’m not implying that no one should set goals or think positively about them. But, it’s not enough to cut out a picture of a slim model and tape it onto your fridge. You have to actually do something different than what you are currently doing to achieve your goal. You have to take action.

We are conditioned in school to focus on the grade at the end of the term. This teaches us that it is only the result that matters; when it is really the process along the way that changes us.

An Easier Way to Make Resolutions:

A resolution is a resolve to achieve a goal. People who achieve their goals have some things in common. These include:

1. Make a plan. Setting a goal and not making a plan is not a resolution, it is wishful thinking. Spend some time deciding on your plan. For example, if you want to lose some weight, how are you going to do this? Your plan could include things such as only eating when you are hungry (instead of eating for emotional reasons) and exercising for 30 minutes 5 days a week.
2. Set a deadline. Deadlines keep you from infinite procrastination (or overindulging in New Year’s Dinner). They help you visualize an end.
3. Decide on a reward. Rewards are good. They are treats for the end of the process. They are like a grade. However, it’s best to keep the reward in line with the goal. If you are trying to lose weight, a good reward would be a new article of clothing. A not-so-good reward would be a trip to the local bakery. If your goal is going to take a long time or require a lot of effort, setting some mid-term rewards can help you maintain your motivation.
4. Start immediately. Many people make goals and then procrastinate putting them into practice because they want to start “at the beginning of the week,” “when it gets warmer,” or some other future time. If you don’t start immediately, you often lose your initial steam, or just plain forget you set the goal at all. Realize that by starting immediately you are doing something different and are on your way to success.
5. Break your goal into chunks. By breaking your goal into bite-size pieces, it makes it seem more attainable. If you want to lose weight, set mini-goals – such as exercise 3 days this week; exercise 4 days next week; exercise 5 days the following week, and every week thereafter. By breaking your goal down, it becomes easier to grasp and success seems easier.
6. Write your goal down. This helps you put your goal into concrete form. Put reminders of your goal where you will see them: on the fridge, in your car, on your computer screen.
7. Keep a “goal” journal. By writing down your successes, and sometimes your not so successful experiences, you can see what is working and where your weak spots are. If you are hungry every afternoon at 2:00, decide to eat something at that time that fits into your plan. A goal journal works better for me when combined with a progress chart. The progress chart shows me when I have worked on my goal. The journal gives me feedback as to why I didn’t work on my goal.
8. Tell a friend. By telling someone else about your goal, it adds the element of accountability. You can exchange this responsibility by also helping your friend with a goal. Pick someone who will be gentle and encouraging if you don’t stay on track, but who will also help you get back to your goal. This goal exchange can be online, on the telephone, or in person. It generally works best if you have a short “check-in” time weekly, or on another regularly-scheduled basis.
9. Be flexible. After you start changing your habits, sometimes other things change as well. Maybe you can’t exercise 30 minutes a day anymore during your lunch hour. Don’t set your goal aside – change the method of achieving it. Maybe you can exercise for 30 minutes before or after work. Or maybe you can exercise 15 minutes before work and 15 minutes after work. There is usually a workable option for any situation; you just have to think about it.
   Life is experienced throughout the process – not at the end when the goal is achieved. It is the work that is done while you are trying to achieve something that is important. Sometimes the goal itself will change. That’s okay. When you are working towards a goal, the struggle changes you for the better.
10. Expect setbacks. Achieving a goal is like learning to drive a car: you don’t learn in one smooth process. Sometimes it seems as if you will never learn to parallel park, but (unless you’re me) eventually you get there. Setbacks are part of the process and are to be expected. If you treat them as just lapses, their impact will be much less and you will get to your goal.
11. One thing at a time. Life is busy and if you set several goals, they can become overwhelming. So work on one at a time. Keep your future goals on a piece of paper or on your computer, so you don’t forget them. Or, work on one goal each day, week, or month as Benjamin Franklin did. Either way, stay underwhelmed.
    (To learn more about Benjamin Franklin & his goals see Benjamin Franklin’s the Art of Virtue: His Formula for Successful Living)
12. Make a goal for you. Don’t let others pressure you into making a goal. You need to be motivated by you – not others’ opinions. It has to be the right goal and the right time for you. Maybe New Year’s isn’t the right time.

    I usually set goals 3 times a year; New Years, May, and August. They are in different areas because my life is different at each of these times. I usually have weight to lose and organizing to do around New Years. In May school gets out and the hot summer is here. In August school starts and Christmas is coming. (Maybe I should learn from these repeats and not gain weight or become unorganized in the first place, huh?)

Success is Easy

Life is about picking yourself up again and again. Babies go from being helpless infants to toddlers in about 12 months’ time. During this time they fail much more than they succeed. But ultimately they succeed because they keep trying.

Many individuals are raised to feel that life should be easy and when it’s not they wonder what is wrong. This eats at their self-esteem, their motivation, and their actions. Life isn’t meant to be easy. Life is meant to be interesting and a growth-experience. Once you realize this, it actually becomes easy. Expect difficulties. Expect failure. Expect opposition. Just go through it anyway and the success will seem easy.

P.S. Obviously I’ve used the “weight-loss” goal because that is one of my goals for 2010. The above process can be used for any goal YOU want to achieve. Also it’s a lot easier to write about these things, than actually act. That’s why I have to pick myself up again and again.

These resources have helped me in achieving my goals:

Franklin Covey
The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron
MyGoals
Mind Tools

Have you failed, or been successful, with a New Year’s Resolution? I’d like to hear about it, so feel free to leave a comment.