There are several themes you will read about in my blog. One of them is overcoming fear and the other is being boring (and yes, I know they are related themes). I talk about these themes a lot because I’m trying to work them out in my own life. You see, I have a confession to make; I’m basically a plain vanilla who secretly wants to be a Jalapeno Chocolate Crunch!

So what exactly is the difference? Vanillas are nice, people-pleasing people. They don’t like to make waves. They don’t stand out in the crowd. There is very seldom anything STRONG about their personalities.

Jalapeno Chocolate Crunch individuals, on the other hand, are either loved or hated. They don’t mind being hated because it is not their purpose in life to be a pleaser. They are who they are and not everyone likes them.

When vanilla individuals go into business for themselves they start with a whimper. It takes them time to get their momentum. It takes time to establish their USP – probably because they don’t want to offend anyone. This fear can keep them stuck. Therefore, it is a bit more difficult for them to gather a following.

When Jalapeno Chocolate Crunch businesses emerge, they do so with a bang. Some people hate them and some people love them. They develop a following because of their strength. They know who they are. They are not worried about everybody liking them (at least on the exterior.) I admire that.

My favorite example of a Jalapeno Chocolate Crunch business is ittybiz. Naomi, the proprietress has a strong personal web presence. She tells it like she sees it. People either love her or hate her – I personally adore the woman and think she is usually ‘right on the mark’ when she expresses her views.

Vanilla-type personalities are not likely to turn into Jalapeno Chocolate Crunchies because it would be too uncomfortable for them. Now, for the clincher – (drum roll please) how does a vanilla become memorable?

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Many people start each New Year with resolutions such as: I want to lose weight; I want to make more money; or I want to be more organized. By the middle of February, however, most of these resolutions have slipped by the wayside. This damages our self-esteem and our motivation at accomplishing much of anything. It keeps us stuck.

Why do we fail in keeping our resolutions?

Many people set goals and then focus on the downside of not achieving those goals. Wherever your focus is, is where you’re headed. Thus by focusing on failure, you fail.

Others set goals and hope to “attract” those goals into their lives. Positive focus is great, but inadequate. I’m not implying that no one should set goals or think positively about them. But, it’s not enough to cut out a picture of a slim model and tape it onto your fridge. You have to actually do something different than what you are currently doing to achieve your goal. You have to take action.

We are conditioned in school to focus on the grade at the end of the term. This teaches us that it is only the result that matters; when it is really the process along the way that changes us.

An Easier Way to Make Resolutions:

A resolution is a resolve to achieve a goal. People who achieve their goals have some things in common. These include:

1. Make a plan. Setting a goal and not making a plan is not a resolution, it is wishful thinking. Spend some time deciding on your plan. For example, if you want to lose some weight, how are you going to do this? Your plan could include things such as only eating when you are hungry (instead of eating for emotional reasons) and exercising for 30 minutes 5 days a week.
2. Set a deadline. Deadlines keep you from infinite procrastination (or overindulging in New Year’s Dinner). They help you visualize an end.
3. Decide on a reward. Rewards are good. They are treats for the end of the process. They are like a grade. However, it’s best to keep the reward in line with the goal. If you are trying to lose weight, a good reward would be a new article of clothing. A not-so-good reward would be a trip to the local bakery. If your goal is going to take a long time or require a lot of effort, setting some mid-term rewards can help you maintain your motivation.
4. Start immediately. Many people make goals and then procrastinate putting them into practice because they want to start “at the beginning of the week,” “when it gets warmer,” or some other future time. If you don’t start immediately, you often lose your initial steam, or just plain forget you set the goal at all. Realize that by starting immediately you are doing something different and are on your way to success.
5. Break your goal into chunks. By breaking your goal into bite-size pieces, it makes it seem more attainable. If you want to lose weight, set mini-goals – such as exercise 3 days this week; exercise 4 days next week; exercise 5 days the following week, and every week thereafter. By breaking your goal down, it becomes easier to grasp and success seems easier.
6. Write your goal down. This helps you put your goal into concrete form. Put reminders of your goal where you will see them: on the fridge, in your car, on your computer screen.
7. Keep a “goal” journal. By writing down your successes, and sometimes your not so successful experiences, you can see what is working and where your weak spots are. If you are hungry every afternoon at 2:00, decide to eat something at that time that fits into your plan. A goal journal works better for me when combined with a progress chart. The progress chart shows me when I have worked on my goal. The journal gives me feedback as to why I didn’t work on my goal.
8. Tell a friend. By telling someone else about your goal, it adds the element of accountability. You can exchange this responsibility by also helping your friend with a goal. Pick someone who will be gentle and encouraging if you don’t stay on track, but who will also help you get back to your goal. This goal exchange can be online, on the telephone, or in person. It generally works best if you have a short “check-in” time weekly, or on another regularly-scheduled basis.
9. Be flexible. After you start changing your habits, sometimes other things change as well. Maybe you can’t exercise 30 minutes a day anymore during your lunch hour. Don’t set your goal aside – change the method of achieving it. Maybe you can exercise for 30 minutes before or after work. Or maybe you can exercise 15 minutes before work and 15 minutes after work. There is usually a workable option for any situation; you just have to think about it.
   Life is experienced throughout the process – not at the end when the goal is achieved. It is the work that is done while you are trying to achieve something that is important. Sometimes the goal itself will change. That’s okay. When you are working towards a goal, the struggle changes you for the better.
10. Expect setbacks. Achieving a goal is like learning to drive a car: you don’t learn in one smooth process. Sometimes it seems as if you will never learn to parallel park, but (unless you’re me) eventually you get there. Setbacks are part of the process and are to be expected. If you treat them as just lapses, their impact will be much less and you will get to your goal.
11. One thing at a time. Life is busy and if you set several goals, they can become overwhelming. So work on one at a time. Keep your future goals on a piece of paper or on your computer, so you don’t forget them. Or, work on one goal each day, week, or month as Benjamin Franklin did. Either way, stay underwhelmed.
    (To learn more about Benjamin Franklin & his goals see Benjamin Franklin’s the Art of Virtue: His Formula for Successful Living)
12. Make a goal for you. Don’t let others pressure you into making a goal. You need to be motivated by you – not others’ opinions. It has to be the right goal and the right time for you. Maybe New Year’s isn’t the right time.

    I usually set goals 3 times a year; New Years, May, and August. They are in different areas because my life is different at each of these times. I usually have weight to lose and organizing to do around New Years. In May school gets out and the hot summer is here. In August school starts and Christmas is coming. (Maybe I should learn from these repeats and not gain weight or become unorganized in the first place, huh?)

Success is Easy

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Do you believe in Santa? If you ask my teenagers, they will say unequivocally “yes,” because they understand that Santa is more than a person. He is the embodiment of hope.

Hope for a world where people love and care for one another. Hope for kindness. Hope for equality; and hope for a land of plenty.

Children come to a time when they stop believing in Santa, but they don’t want to reveal that to their parents just yet. Most children have seen their fair share of adult hypocrisy by this stage. However, this is the first time they’ve been asked to play along. Deep down they know and their parents know they know, but everyone acts their part in the play because no one wants it to end.

Santa comes into his glory at this time. Children realize that they can be like him; caring, giving, understanding, and jolly-good fun. Santa brings out the best in kids. This belief lets them play along and most are loath to reveal their knowledge to the younger set. The yearning for a true Santa conjures flying reindeer, sleigh bells, and hordes of elves who love children.

Santa embodies the elements of Christianity; yet he is easier for children to identify with than a small baby. Babies are cute; but they aren’t selfless. Santa demonstrates the Christian values in a way even small children can understand.

So let the stories and songs of Christmas ring out this season – both of reindeer and stables. Carry hope in your hearts and in your actions.

Merry Christmas

Yesterday I talked about breaking down big tasks into bite-sized pieces as a way to “eat your elephant.” Today my tip is how to “catch your tiger” or the planning part of organizing.

The tiger above is just a cub. He hasn’t gotten big and shaggy yet. This is the best to time to catch those tigers –when they’re small.

To translate this into ‘business speak’: After you’ve broken your big project down into smaller tasks, schedule time to complete them and stick to your schedule. This is a simple, but essential step in the process.

I tend to make plans, schedule my time, and then get distracted by “urgent” things that aren’t necessarily important. (If you’ve ever read any of Steven Covey’s books or used a Franklin Day Planner System, you will understand these terms already.)

Urgent things are the telephone ringing, emails, or the next chapter in the newest mystery I am reading.

Important things are writing on my blog, keeping my books up to date, and spending time with my family. When I schedule the important things and stick to my schedule I am happier and I accomplish my goals.

As I was writing this article, this quote appeared on my digital dayplanner: “People have more options than they think they do. But most people spend more time planning their vacations than thinking about what they want to do with their lives.” Bob McDonald – The Lemming Conspiracy

Marketing takes planning and scheduling. Many people don’t market until they need more business, but marketing is best done a little bit at a time each day. It can also be fun.

So what do you think? Do you spend your time with ‘urgent’ or ‘important’ things?
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My friend, Mitzi Graham of Get Organized, posted this great tip: “Set Deadlines. Set deadlines for decisions, projects and tasks. This forces you to be accountable. Having a time table will help you to stay focused and on schedule.”

This got me to thinking about my “elephants.” Elephants are those big projects that you want to tackle, but are unsure how to do so. We’ve all heard the adage, “you eat an elephant one bite at a time;” which is a reminder to break a big project into smaller tasks. When you break down those big projects AND you add a deadline to each task or bite, then you can actually get the elephant eaten.

I personally need to remember this advice – especially in the fall when Thanksgiving and Christmas plans tend to be my focus.

So how does this relate to marketing? Well, in order to be effective at marketing you have to break it down. It is important to set tasks with deadlines. It can also be important to limit the time you spend on twitter and facebook. Although these are great venues for drumming up business, they can also become time wasters. So these deadlines can work both ways – setting a time by which to get something done, and limiting the time you spend on the task if it could be a time waster.

It’s also important to break down big tasks, such as blogging, setting up an email campaign, or getting a Press Release done.

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You know you love your job when:

1. You wake up excited to start each day.
2. You have tons of ideas you want to develop.
3. You have to set a buzzer to remember to eat lunch.
4. You eat your lunch and continue working on your business.
5. When your kids come home from school, you are amazed that it is the afternoon already.
6. You are continually learning about what you do. You buy books, join online programs, etc.
7. You talk about what you do to everyone who will listen.
8. Your family and friends tell you, “you look happy!”
9. You would do what you do for free! (But of course it’s more fun to make money.)

So what do you do if you don’t love what you do? I struggled with this for several years. Then I came across Leslie Householder’s course on Family, Time, and Money. It has helped me align my priorities with my goals, and my goals with my actions. This has led me to work that I truly love. Leslie’s program starts with a free ebook, The JackRabbit Factor, which was a NY Times Bestseller.

I hope you love your job. But if you don’t, check out the Family, Time, and Money course. (At least download the free ebook and read it. It’s an easy-to read story that just may enlighten you about some things in your life.)

Yesterday my day fell apart. I felt like this poor guy in the picture. I was frazzled. My day started out “wrong.” I wasn’t ready to start work at 9am like I usually am. I spent an hour cleaning and getting ready and then it got even worse.

Everything fell apart. I had too much to do, and not enough time to do it, and things weren’t going right. My bank couldn’t find a large check I had deposited last week. A client gave me a rush job that I really didn’t have time for, but I wanted to accommodate them.

Finally, sometime around noon, I sat down and made a list of the things I needed to do. I prioritized what actually had to be done that day. I broke them into manageable bites and started working. Things went much smoother, and I actually got a few things done. The bank also found my check, which relieved my stress quite a bit.

Before I go to bed, I usually review how my day went. Yesterday I thought about all the people I work with who also work from home. I thought about how they manage things. These are a few of the common traits I came up with:

1. Goals. Most of the successful small businesses I work with have set specific goals. Goal-oriented individuals seem to achieve more. I think this is because specific goals make you accountable for your actions and your time. Goals should be reviewed and adjusted as needed.
2. Systems. Successful people have systems in place that help them flourish. Those who struggle let the demands of life, family, and friends dictate what they do. (My systems fell apart yesterday.)
3. Learning. Thriving home-based business people are continually learning new things that help them with their business.
4. Mindset. Successful people have a different mindset than unsuccessful individuals. (Yesterday when I changed my mindset, things started to flow better.)
5. Support. Whenever you work from home, you need others you can reach out to and ask for assistance. This could include just whining about your day, or advice on an ad you’re thinking of running.

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Are you a watcher or a jumper?

Several years ago my children and I were at Lake Powell. There was a cliff above a pool of water. Several people were jumping off the cliff into the water. It wasn’t horribly high, and the water seemed deep. My children wanted to jump as well. Being the cautious mother that I am, I wasn’t comfortable with that. I’d heard all the horror stories of kids jumping, hitting their heads, and dying.

We were with some friends who had jumped off this cliff before and assured us it was safe. They knew that in a certain spot there was a rock under the surface that someone could get hurt on. So they asked the current jumpers to stop so they could explore the water and find the rock. They swam around and found the rock and showed everyone where it was.

Then they climbed to the top of the cliff and started jumping. My husband jumped in as well. Now it was my turn. Was I going to be a wimp in front of my children. I had seen 10 or so people jump and land safely. The cliff wasn’t really high. Could I do it?

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KISS stands for Keep It Simple, Silly. I am referring to your blog content. People who read blogs are scanners, not in-depth readers. (That is they scan with 2 “n’s” not scam with 2 “m’s”.) They glance over what you’ve written to see if it interests them.

If your topic is interesting, they will read a bit more-in depth; however, keep these tips in mind when writing for the web:

1. Short paragraphs work are better than long.
2. Bullets and numbered lists (like this one) keep information organized and easily readable.
3. Numbers in titles are effective too.
4. Forget your high school English Rules. It is okay to fracture occasional sentences and put prepositions at the end of a sentence, if it makes your writing easier to read.
5. Write in a conversational tone. Write with simple and clear words. It is good to use “you” and “we” in your copy as well.
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Being successful in business requires taking some risks. Not jumping off a cliff risks, but calculated risks. If you just sit home and do nothing, you won’t be successful. Even bloggers aren’t successful if they don’t type anything. But taking risks also means that sometimes you might fail, and this is scary to most people (including me). In fact it is so scary that sometimes we don’t even try to succeed!

I remember one day in high school when I was taking a difficult test. I was worried about getting a good grade and had spent time studying for the test. As I walked into class I heard a student say he hadn’t even studied and so, of course, he was going to fail. I remember being amazed at that attitude. I didn’t get it. As I got older, it actually began to make sense, in a convoluted way. If you don’t try, of course you are going to fail. Many people do this with their jobs, or their companies, as well.

So how can you get over this fear of failure? Fail!
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